9 Elements of Buoyant Living
ELEMENT #1:
Create an genuine relationship with yourself.
Here’s the truth: Aging Buoyantly is completely reliant on getting comfortable—even eager—to know yourself. Really well. Are you ready to trust your heart guidance? Your instincts? Your gut feelings? With self-acceptance, humor, and willingness to explore who you are today, you can live the most joyful life imaginable. And as we befriend ourselves, we naturally elevate our awareness of all that surrounds us.
Let's see what would make your life sing.
ELEMENT #2:
Cultivate peaceful relationships with others.
Once you begin practicing a new way of relating to yourself, you stop expecting others to meet your needs. Your emotional well-being becomes your own responsibility and no one else’s. Sometimes, with this work, we end up releasing people from our lives (think: a friend that utterly drains you...). More often than not, though, if we look at things a little differently (often just a tweak of perception through the lens of empathy), we can shift the whole trajectory of a relationship. The real focus of this work is its strength in resolving different perspectives we may have with others. When we mature in these directions, we elevate our consciousness so we can experience true freedom, oodles of choice, deep self-respect, and heartfelt, genuine connections with others.
ELEMENT #3:
Say YES to magical experiences.
Think wonder. Imagine flying a grandchild in for a visit, studying art history, saying yes to dating, going on a safari, taking a clothing style class. Imagine being daring and bold in a way you haven’t yet fully explored in your life. Here, you go deep, learning what needs would be met (or maybe not met) if you pursued these dreams. Then, we'll strategize to either gain the particular experience or create another that would meet the needs you have.
ELEMENT #4:
Build everyday rituals.
This is about infusing your life with beauty on a regular basis. In American spiritual teacher Ram Dass’s language, this translates to, “Be here now.” Since magical experiences don’t happen every day, we must stake a claim for beauty. We must CHOOSE to notice beauty in ordinary moments—maybe it’s a ritual cup of tea in the morning, reading, listening to a TedTalk, touching a tree, or having a gratitude list. The “what” is much less important than the “why,” which is to live in the present rather than the past or future.
ELEMENT #5:
Choose positive self-talk.
Given the steady stream of cultural messages women are bombarded with from birth, it’s not surprising that many (most!) of us still struggle to see our own beauty, strength, and sensational uniqueness. Positive self-talk needs to be integrated alongside your authentic relationship with self.
ELEMENT #6:
Transform silent shame into self-worth.
We are exposed to shame from every angle. We're told to play small, not to get too big for our britches, and to be ashamed of our bodies, our voices, our careers, our income, our children, our parents, our clothes, our hair, our chin(s)... and we buy it. How could we not? Together, we will alchemize that shame into an unshakeable self-worth.
ELEMENT #7:
Celebrate your body.
This is about creating a relationship with your body that is not solely based on appearance. This phase will encompass joy-filled movement, body positivity, self-expression with style, and more. Listening to the body is a fundamental way we begin to know ourselves, and this element is sprinkled into every other one we'll consider on our journey together.
ELEMENT #8:
Normalize conversations around death.
To have an authentic relationship with yourself, it is essential that, at the very least, you acknowledge what few of us want to discuss. A component of the aging process is coming to terms with what you worry about and what you believe. Some of us worry about death itself, while others of us fear incapacity. And there are relationship issues that come into play: with our older children, our partner, our friends, our money, our health and healthcare. Ram Daas says it this way, “We are all going to graduate from Earth School,” so let’s get comfortable talking about it together.
ELEMENT #9:
Become a lifelong learner.
Approach life with curiosity, interest, and exploration. Doing so is the ultimate oxygen mask that helps you get unstuck so you appreciate the immense joy, wonder, and awe in your everyday life. During our 60s and beyond, we can imagine, experiment, read about, try, and sample anything we like. It is not that learning keeps us young, it is that stretching ourselves keeps us vibrant, playful, and steeped in the present moment.
